“She said all that and you let her leave?”

“She snuck out in the middle of the night! You know how she is!” Aragorn and Faramir argued as they rushed through the halls of the king’s palace in Gondor.

“If the lady of Rohan claws the eyes out of the queen of Gondor, we’ll pretty much have to go to war, you know.”

“Of course I know! Why do you think I rode the entire way out here?”

As they approached the queen’s chambers, several groans could be heard echoing through the hallway, followed by a shout: “Eowyn!” Suddenly aware of the gravity of the situation, the men rushed forward and threw open the door to the bedroom.

Arwen lay spreadeagle on the royal bed. Her hair was a tangle on the sheets, her nightgown was bunched up over her face, and her hands were grasping the blankets tightly. Between her legs, Eowyn knelt with a wicked grin on her face. She was naked except for her sword belt, which was hanging oddly. The sheathed blade hung between her legs, and she had maneuvered the hilt between Arwen’s thighs.

“Say my name, bitch!” Eowyn shouted again, thrusting her hips forward.

“Eowyn, Eowyn! Oh, yes!” Arwen answered.

Aragorn and Faramir looked at each other awkwardly. As they started to leave, Faramir looked back; without looking, he stubbed his toe on the door and involutarily hissed in pain. Both ladies looked up from the bad.

“Ah… um… mind if we watch?”