“Hey, Jecht?”

“Mrf,” he answered into the pillow.

She shook him harder. “Jecht. Get up.”

“What the hell? What is it?” he said, pushing himself up on the bed.

She was sitting beside him, looking at a little white strip. “I’m pregnant.”

Jecht took a long minute to reply. She wondered if he was still drunk from the night before.

“I guess we’ll have to get married, then,” he said finally.

“You mean it?”

“Sure, why not?” It wasn’t quite the romantic proposal she’d hoped for, but she was thrilled enough to lean over and kiss him, letting the paper strip fall to the floor.

“What’s it like to hold your breath so long?” Braska asked him suddenly as they sat by the tent one night. They were waiting for Auron to kill a flan for desert, and Jecht was starting to get used to the summoner’s seemingly random trains of thought.

“It’s not like anything,” Jecht answered him. “You just do it, you know? If you practice, it turns into a habit.”

“Is that how you can drink so much alcohol at once?”

Jecht looked up at him now. “Probably. I didn’t really think about it like that. But yeah.”

“Can anyone learn this?”

“It takes practice, but sure.”

“I’d like to learn,” Braska said calmly.

Jecht smiled. “Sure. There’s a trick I learned when I was just a rookie blitzballer.”

“Show me?” the summoner asked.

“Close your eyes and open your mouth,” Jecht instructed. Braska did as he was told, and waited serenely.

Jecht moved in with one smooth motion and locked his lips against Braska’s, holding his head in place with one rough hand and pinching his nose shut with the other.

It was worth it to see the summoner actually react for a change, especially when he started to panic from the lack of oxygen. Jecht grinned as he finally let him go.

The bonus was the look he caught on Auron’s face, over the summoner’s shoulder.

Jecht was starting to seriously consider not going home.

A slightly different turn of events after the destruction of the Crimson Squad…

Nooj pointed his gun at the other members of his squad one by one, shooting them and leaving them for dead. As he turned to leave, Paine reached up and shot him in return. As his body dropped to the ground, Paine watched two glowing lights, like fireflies, appear from the body. One floated away toward the cave from which they’d come. The other settled against Baralai’s body, disappearing into his skin. After a moment, two more emerged. Both wafted toward where Gippal lay, disappearing into his body. Then three emerged.

All three floated over to Paine. She was too busy trying to staunch the bleeding wound in her side to worry about some pretty lights. When the three lights pressed into her skin, however, she couldn’t help but notice.

“Paine!”

“What the hell?” she asked out loud.

“Paine, it’s us,” the voice was coming out of her mouth, but she heard Gippal’s voice in her head thinking the words.

“It’s like we’re part of you now,” Nooj voice was added to her thoughts.

“Neat. I have breasts.” Paine realized that her arms were reaching for her chest after Gippal’s thought, and she forced them back down.

“Just think,” Baralai joined in, “we’re like a one-person squad!”

“All for one and one for all?” Gippal asked.

“More like all in one,” Nooj answered.

“And one in all?” Baralai countered.

“That sounds lewd.” Paine frowned.

“Nah, that’s mild. This is lewd.” Paine found herself with the mental image of Nooj and Baralai doing…

“Aa! I don’t need to see that. Stop thinking like that!”

“It’s not like I’m fantasizing about you,” Baralai said, making Paine’s lip pout.

“I didn’t realize you felt that way,” Nooj added, sounding distracted, as Paine protested.

“Yes, but your thoughts are still there and I have to see them and… is that even physically possible?”

“No, but that’s half the fun,” Baralai answered.

“I like the way you think,” the deathseeker was adding.

Paine rubbed her temples. “I think I’m just going crazy.”

“Nah. Just think of us as houseguests. Persistant, dirty-minded houseguests,” Gippal said to calm her. “And if you want, I’ll be more than happy to fantasize about you.”

“Gods, knock it off. You’re making going crazy sound like the better option.”

“Wakka, dear,” Lulu said, leaning against the doorway. There was something more predatory than usual in her voice.

“Ya?” he asked slowly as he came up to the door, wondering what it meant.

“When I went shopping today, two different women came up to me in the market and told me how amazing it was that I was planning on natural childbirth,” she informed him, crossing her arms over her chest. She’d given up on corsets and bondage skirts months ago, but she still seemed to choose things that drove him to distraction. Today it was a black robe-style dress that clung to her curves.

He shook his head and tried to think. “I shouldn’t tell people, ya?”

“You shouldn’t assume,” she purred, and there was that tone again. “Who decided I was going to have a natural childbirth?”

“I just thought… ah…” Wakka hesitated, “It would be good for the baby.”

“It would also be good for the baby if he grew up with a father,” she said, running her fingernails over his breastbone. “I would hate to be in so much pain during the birth that I… hurt you.” She pressed her nails into his skin, still smiling.

Wakka got the point. “Have to do what’s best for the baby, ya?”

“I’m glad you agree,” her smile softened and she wrapped her hand around his waistband. “Now let me welcome you home.” She pulled him inside and shut the door behind him.

This, Lulu was forced to admit, was not working.

She glared at the mirror. Oh, sure, the corset laced, but there was a tell-tale gap of her pale skin visible between the pieces of brown leather. She wasn’t sure whether she’d always had this much cleavage. Her skirt cut uncomfortably into her stomach and she winced at her skin bulging under the buckles and dark fabric.

“Well, this is embarassing,” she muttered to herself. “Thank the fayth no one’s here to–”

“Lulu?”

Somewhere, some higher power was laughing. Possibly Tidus. The universe seemed to share his sense of humor.

“Are you in here?” Wakka appeared in the doorway and smiled. “All dressed up?”

“Not for long. Damn thing doesn’t fit anymore,” she grumbled, tugging on the skirt.

“Still looks sexy. Let me take it off you?”

“Wakka–”

“What?” he asked as he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her.

“Not right now,” she said.

“You don’t want to get out of those tight clothes right now?” he asked, pausing between words to kiss her cleavage.

“No, I mean, yes, I do,” Lulu knew he always got her flustered, why wasn’t she used to it by now.

He had her corset unhooked and on the floor before she could argue. “So no problem, ya?”

“Stop that,” she smiled despite herself and lightly pushed him away from her nipples. “You know I can’t concentrate when you do that.”

“Who needs concentration?” Wakka asked as his hands wandered to her skirt.

“I’m trying to be serious,” she said as the buckles gave way.

He knelt. “About?”

“About how I feel about myself and… my life… and… ohgod… um… I can worry about it tomorrow.”

The summoner Yuna and her friends and Guardians faced Sin, ready for the final battle to save Spira, when the malevolent force revealed himself to be Jecht, Tidus’s father. As everyone but Auron reacted with surprise, Jecht turned to Braska’s former Guardian.

“So. Auron.”

“…” Auron hesitated, not sure what his former friend and occasional lover wanted to hear. Auron had more than enough sense to know that when you’re facing down the greatest evil in the world, and he happens to be your ex, you shut up and wait.

“You and my son…?” Jecht prompted, crossing his arms.

“Ah, that,” Auron answered. Beside him he heard Yuna shriek, then a sound like a bag of flour being thwacked, followed by Tidus whining.

“I have only one question,” the host of Sin continued, and Auron braced himself. He didn’t have a good answer for why, or what he was thinking. No excuses but loneliness and maybe more attachment to the former Blitzball player than he would have liked to admit.

“Was he better than me?”

Auron blinked his good eye. “What?”

“Was he better than me?”

Auron glanced sideways at Tidus and shrugged before answering. “No.”

Jecht jumped up and pumped his fist in the air. “Yes! Jecht shot for the win!”

“Ewwwww,” Tidus grimaced. “Just. Mental image, Dad. Ew.”

Rikku poked him in the shoulder. “Considering I had to think about you and the old man naked…”

“HEY, I’m not the one who brought that up!” Tidus yelled.

“Guys!” Yuna snapped, getting their attention. “Forget who’s sleeping with who. Let’s save Spira!”

Auron threw his jug at Jecht in disgust. “We’re both dead. Why are you the only one who can get drunk?”

“Sheer talent,” Jecht answered, catching the jug and opening it.

“Figures,” Auron grumbled. There were several seconds of silence. This was general a bad thing when Jecht was drunk, but before Auron could turn around and stop whatever he was doing, a pair of arms wrapped around his shoulders.

“Hey, handsome, can I cheer you up?” asked a high-pitched voice.

“Normally I wouldn’t, but…” the hand quickly found its way inside Auron’s coat. “Wait a minute…” Auron grabbed the wayward arm and spun around.

“Jecht! Do you really… think… why… why are you dressed like a prostitute?”

“I’m not! This is a Lady Luck sphere. I traded to Rikku for it.” Jecht posed.

“What did you– no, don’t answer that. Why– don’t answer that either.”

“You don’t like me in a dress? She said it’d be a sure-fire way to get you into bed. Apparently it works on her boyfriend all the time.”

“Even if I had anything in common with her boyfriend, you don’t have anywhere near the body to pull that off,” Auron rolled his eyes.

Jecht laughed and helped himself to another swig from Auron’s jug. “Ah, well. Guess that means it’s time for plan B.”

“What’s plan B?” Auron asked with trepidation.

“Kareoke!”

“Okay, that’s not… put the songstress dressphere down…”