Deep in the shopping district of Tokyo, five women sit in a coffee bar. You would not think much of them at first glance. Clustered around one side of the table are three sisters, the Norns who guard fate and the World Tree. Leaning coldly back, sipping iced chai, is Hel, goddess of the underworld. The only one likely to catch your attention is the tall blonde. Her beauty is legendary, as is her name: Freya, goddess of beauty and romance. Also legendary at the moment, is the volume of her voice.

“By Odin, you would not believe the skeevy dwarf guys I slept with! Ew! And talk about midgits…” Freya leaned forward, holding her thumb and index fingers no more than an inch and a half apart. “No good at all; so much for dwarves being good with their hands. I had to moan for hours and they barely got me wet. And ew, so hairy! I’m lucky they didn’t chafe!”

“Is that, er…” Skuld, the youngest Norn, tried to keep from grimacing, “that level of detail really necessary?”

Freya laughed and threw her arm back, nearly knocking over the young man carrying an order past the table. “Of course it’s necessary! How else would you understand how truly disgusting it was?”

“But,” ventured Verthandi, the middle sister, “why sleep with them at all, then?”

“Oh, I really wanted this necklace they’d made.” She idly fingered the thick, golden necklace laying on her collarbone.

Hel set her cup on the table quietly. “Everything is about sex.”

“Of course it is, sweetie,” Freya grinned at her. “When your Daddy and I get married, I’ll tell you all about being a lady.”

Hel just stared at her for a moment. “What now, the Parent Trap? Isn’t one parody bad enough?” Without another word, she stood and walked out of the story.

Shrugging, Freya turned back to the Norns. “Frigid thing. So anyway, the skeevy dwarves actually remind me of this disgusting giant who wanted to marry me this one time, so we dressed Thor up…” Freya stopped and smiled, looking around the coffee shop. She caught the arm of the young busboy as he passed by.

“Aah, Narugami-kun, I was just reminiscing about this one time you helped me out.”

“I always help people who need justice!” Grinning, Narugami stopped to pose. Unfortunately, he forgot about the dishes he was carrying and dropped them to the floor. One shout from his manager and Narugami was glum, thinking about having to find yet another part-time job.

“I know what’ll cheer you up, Narugami-kun! Come with me!” Freya lept to her feet and was already dragging Narugami out of the cafe as he answered her, “No lace this time!”

Meanwhile, the Norns looked at each other and sighed. Urd pulled out her wallet. “Looks like they left us with the bill again.”

“Well, that was amusing,” Loki thought to himself. “Embarassing Thor always makes for an exciting evening. Dead heroes wrestling in the nude gets so boring after a while.”

Strolling through an empty wing of Odin’s palace, Loki considered ways to top himself, and hopefully erase the image of himself hitting on Thor from his mind’s eye. To be taken in by such a ruse… was his giants’ blood starting to show?

And what business did Thor have getting mad at him? The thunder god was the one wearing the dress, after all. Loki didn’t remember Thor particularly enjoying it the first time he’d crossdressed, though that had been a wedding dress, and more likely to be uncomfortable. How would Thor like it if he discovered the girl he’d been hitting on was a man?

Now there was an idea…

“I make a much prettier girl anyway,” Loki said quietly, smiling.

It was a week before he bothered to return to Odin’s halls, and he did so without his usual fanfare. Neither his wife nor his usual girlfriend accompanied him. Loki had done an admirable job of turning himself into a woman with long hair the color of flames and mysterious eyes the color of emeralds. He wore a dress designed to accentuate his… ample busom. In short, he was a knockout. He knew it, and he would make sure Thor knew it as well.

As he entered the hall, Loki spotted Thor at the head table, talking to his father and downing a tankard of mead. Thor looked pretty drunk already. This wouldn’t even be a challenge. Loki smirked.

He sauntered up to the table, swinging his hips from side to side, and sat down next to Thor.

“Hey, big boy.”

Thor took a quick look around, and Loki imagined he was looking to make sure his wife Sif’s golden hair was not in evidence. “Hi.”

“You here all by yourself tonight?”

Again, Thor’s eyes scanned the hall before replying. “Yeah.”

Inhibitions, Loki noted, are unpleasant things. Best to remove them. “I’ve heard you can drink more than anyone else in Asgard.”

Finally, the thunder god smiled. “Oh, yes. At drinking and smashing the heads of giants, I’m really the best there is.”

“I bet a big, strong god like you could drink all the mead in this hall with no problem.”

Yamino hurried between the kitchen and dining room, bringing a second course for Loki and his guest.

“Hey, Four-eyes, is that more food? I’m starving!” Narugami reached out with his chopsticks and was already swallowing by the time Yamino set the bowl down in front of him. Across the table, young Loki ate at a more relaxed pace. However frustrating Narugami might be, it was still quite a coup to have one of the gods Odin had sent to torment him — Odin’s own son, nonetheless! — consider him an ally.

Hey, when you’re stuck being ten years old, you have to get your laughs where you can.

“So Freya made you wear what to the club?” Loki asked, still trying to understand the story the thunder god was telling him.

Narugami swallowed before answering. “This little black miniskirt and a sweater with a furred collar. It was really itchy. And gogo boots. I have no idea where she got those in my size.” Between sentences, he continued to finish his rice and dug without pause into a second bowl Yamino set before him.

Loki shook his head. “And then?”

“Well, I was dancing with this pretty cute guy, and the next thing I know, the bouncer’s asking me if I know this little girl, and Reiya’s standing there with him, and he’s telling me what a horrible big sister I am.”

“Poor Reiya. You took her home?” Loki asked with just a hint of concern.

“Of course!” Narugami was offended that he stopped eating while he spoke. “I would never allow a poor child to suffer like that!” Then he returned to shovelling the rice down his throat, while Loki sipped his tea.

After a minute, Narugami looked at him with a grin. “Hey, Loki, remember the last time I went to a party all dressed up…?”

Somewhere is Asgard, a long time ago…

“You want me to what?” Thor demanded of the giggling goddess in front of him. “I am Thor! I do not wear lovely dresses!”

“Oh, please, Thor? It’s just a little favor,” Freya cajoled, leaning against him.

“It’s also a little dress.” he replied, holding the dress away from him as if it might crawl up his arm and attach itself to him when he wasn’t looking.

The goddess just pouted cutely. “But you looked so good in that wedding gown, when you went to all that trouble just for me. Please, Thor, this is just another tiny favor compared to that. You won’t have to kiss any giants this time.”

Thor sighed. “Just this once.”

A few minutes later, Freya and her, ah, handmaiden made their entrance at Odin’s hall. The mead had been flowing fast and heavy for nearly an hour now. Most of Valhalla’s dead heroes were spilling alcohol on each other and getting into fistfights, often at the same time. A few goddesses were interspersed among them, refilling glasses and serving meat. At the head of the great hall, Odin and a number of other gods were seated at a raised table. They were also drinking quite a bit.

Freya caught sight of her prey at the table and dragged Thor after her. “Loki!” she called.

The god of trickery turned and started to say something. Then he caught sight of the young lady accompanying Freya and flashed his trademark smile at her. “Good evening, Freya. Who’s this?”

“One of my new handmaidens…”

Across the table, a very drunk Freyr was sitting on his favorite boar, Gullinbursti, trying to coax it into charging the brawling heroes below. “Ah, I’ll be right back,” she excused herself. “Freyr! FREYR! How many times have I told you not to…” her voice trailed off as she disappeared into the crowd.

Thor slowly turned his gaze back to Loki, who was still smiling at him. “Um, hi!” he said, making his voice squeak in an attempt to sound womanly.

Loki stepped forward smoothly to wrap his arm around Thor’s waist. Thor blushed, which Loki seemed to interpret as an encouragement.

“Don’t be scared, my lady,” Loki admonished. Thor tried to squeak out a response, but Loki was just moving closer and the thunder god was begining to panic. He was not known for thinking on his feet. Possible responses flowed through his brain like molasses.

‘I could smash his skull in with Mjolnir. But it’s not his fault, really. I could do it anyway. He probably deserves it.’ Enjoying the thought of smashing Loki with his hammer, Thor’s face relaxed into a smile. Taking this as a good sign, Loki moved closer. Just as Thor was about to summon Mjolnir, Loki leaned in to kiss him.

Pulled out of his daydream in a rude awakening, Thor screamed and tore Freya’s dress from his body. Loki blinked, then smirked. “You looked better with the dress on, Thor.”

“Well… well… you’re a bad kisser!”

The entire hall was brought to dead silence, a feat that was said to be impossible before the destruction of Asgard at ragnarok. Everyone was staring at Loki and the naked, enraged Thor.

There was a giggle from somewhere in the far end of the hall.

Thor screamed and lunged for Loki, smashing his hammer down. Loki had moved just in time and was sprinting for the exit. Thor followed, yelling insults in every language known to the gods and some he was making up on the spot.