“What — what are you doing?” I entered the library to find Ansem bent over my desk, the lock broken and the drawer pulled out. My papers were spilled across the top and he was shuffling through them.
“What am I doing? Xehanort, what is all this? I told you, all of you, to stop this madness months ago.”
“This isn’t madness! This is progress!” I shouted, grabbing at the papers.
He flung a handful of pages at me, disgust pooling on his face. “I gave you an order. I don’t ask much of you, only that you defer to me when–”
“When you give up.”
Ansem ignored me. “For that matter, why are these called ‘Ansem Reports’? I won’t have you using my name.”
“You certainly haven’t done anything worthy of a great name lately,” I baited him, but he didn’t react. “You don’t want me to unlock my memories or my life. Fine! I’ll take yours. You can’t treat me like a child anymore!”
“I will treat you in whatever way I feel is appropriate, Xehanort. This is my home, my realm, and my resources that you use so freely. I fear you’ve already gone too far.”
“You fear? Oh, yes, you fear me. Is that not the true reason you stopped? You think you know what’s in my heart, and you’re afraid I’ll find out what it is.”
I waited, wanting him to say something, but he only stared at me. No, not at– past me. I felt my shadow behind me like stagnant air, humid and oppressive. I didn’t turn.
I didn’t want to ruin such a lovely moment.
“What have I done to you?” he said quietly, then shook his head and corrected himself. “No, Xehanort, what have you done to yourself?”
“Are you afraid of what I’ve become?” I asked as I approached him. “Or are you afraid that this is what I’ve always been?” He backed up quickly, running into the desk, and I pinned him down with my weight.
“So this is the price you pay,” he murmured, finally meeting my eyes. I wondered what he saw in them.
“Yes, I pay it. You told me, when I first began with you, that knowledge came with a price. You can’t tell me now that the price is too high. You started this!”
“And I regret it,” he said, trying to pull his hands from my grip.
“You started this and I am going to finish it! I will go further than you dreamed.” I laid my knee on his pelvis, leaning over him, and he winced. I smiled a bit, to see genuine fear in him finally. Fear he couldn’t deny. “This is a price I pay willingly. I was willing when you started it, I was willing when Ienzo pushed you farther, and I’m going to go as deep as I have to.”
“Deeper into madness.”
“Then so be it.” I let him go and he ran for the door, but Braig and Dilan were waiting.
I laughed. “Let’s take him downstairs. I have one experiment that’s just been waiting for the perfect subject, Ansem. How would you like to be the first sage in recorded history to see the realm of nothingness?”
